'Ozzfest vs. 'N Sync

Two shows. Two cultures. One day. Thankfully, 30 miles apart. Here's what to expect:

Security issues

Ozzfest: Homicide. 'N Sync: Curfew violation.

Best reason to bring a blanket

Ozzfest: Burn it. 'N Sync: Suck on it.

What you'll need at concert

Ozzfest: Earplugs (for the music). 'N Sync: Earplugs (for the screaming).

Fashion accessories

Ozzfest: Stitches. 'N Sync: Braces.

Most popular word on T-shirts in the audience

Ozzfest: [censored-have a wild guess]. 'N Sync: 'N Sync.

How long fans will wear concert T-shirt

Ozzfest: Until it's ripped from their back in a mosh pit.

'N Sync: Until a cuter boy group comes along.

Best reason to bring Dad

Ozzfest: Might hear "Iron Man." 'N Sync: Need a ride home.

What fans would like to do to members of 'N Sync

Ozzfest: Kill them. 'N Sync: Marry them.

What fans would like to do to Ozzfest acts

Ozzfest: Compare tattoos. 'N Sync: Clean them up and marry them.

How you know fans are having fun

Ozzfest: Look of hatred in their eyes as they pummel each other until they bleed. 'N Sync: Look of longing in their eyes as they scream through every song.

Last doll bought

Ozzfest: Anything by Todd McFarlane. 'N Sync: Anything by Barbie.

Favorite artist experiences with rodents

Ozzfest: Biting the heads off bats. 'N Sync: Wearing Mickey Mouse ears.

Bush or Gore?:

Ozzfest: Gore. And blood and guts and fire. 'N Sync: Bush. That Gavin Rossdale guy is just so cute.

Vice of choice

Ozzfest: Weed and beer. 'N Sync: Gummi Bears.

Pre-concert activity

Ozzfest: Watching your friends throw up. 'N Sync: Watching Nickelodeon.

Post-concert activity

Ozzfest: Watching your friends throw up. 'N Sync: Falling asleep in the car.

Lyrics that cut to the heart of the fan experience.

Ozzfest: "Sickness spilling thru your eyes
Craving everything you thought was alive
Stab me in the heart again
Drag me through your wasted life
Are you forever dead?" Godsmack.

N' Sync.

"Baby I will give you love
The kind of love that you've only dreamed of." N' Sync

By Ed Masley and Scott Mervis, Post-Gazette Staff Writers